in my thoughts always

My most prominent fear is aging.
My bones brittle and skin spotting, crawling away from me, my mind and thoughts deteriorating with the rest of me.

Yet,
I see my grandmama and
I don't think
I've ever seen
anything more

beautiful.

All her stories,
all the different ways she's
loved and fought and
cared.

Little pieces of her scattered everywhere,
she's been bulldozed and built over.
Still seeing a field where a building blocks the sun, she sees a corner mom-and-pop store where there isn't one.

And in this way,

I live
vicariously
through
her.