I've realised just how many notebooks I have. And I write in all of them. In fact, somedays I write in all of them. I just have so much to say, but I have such a bad memory that I have to write it down anywhere I can. My hand, an assignment, a stray piece of paper lying around.

I once wrote on the desk..at the time I thought it was very important stuff. And it turned into a pretty nice poem, if you ask me. But it took awhile of hiding it from my grandmother before I got it off. There's still a mark there from pressing too hard with the pen. I run my hand over it sometimes to have a laugh.

It's almost as if I leave little pieces of myself everywhere on purpose. Like, if I died in my sleep tonight, I know that they would find something I wrote, and decide to share it with the world. Or something like that.

I ate a cookie today.

I say I'm giving up sugary things for lent. But, be the first to know, I'm giving up speaking unless spoken to, I'm giving up talking about myself for the most part, I'm giving up feeling like a bottomless pit at the end of the day because I can't keep anything about anything to myself. Filling conversation with gossip, gossip in general for that matter.

The point is, I want to become the me in my head. I don't want to hate myself inside because I have no self-control and an abundance of bad habits. I guess you could say I want to appear less selfish, though I am doing this for personal reasons and that in turn is "selfish".

All I'll ever want is acceptance, from myself, and from you.

Harold and Maude say:

Get together regardless of your age, race, creed, color or national origin. Thank you."

Oh, cult films. I have stumbled across yet another. And fallen in love. Madly, deeply, I tell you! If you haven't seen Harold and Maude..DO IT. It's one of the most innovative, unique, thought-provoking, and touching things I've seen in a very, very long time.